Sheltered, privileged Suburbia

So, today I went to downtown Los Angeles to go prom dress shopping with Sprina and Daphne. And that was quite an experience.

Maybe it's because I've been so sheltered all of my damn life, but that place scared me to death. Living in suburbia feels boring and -- well, just really boring. But I would so rather live here in Boring-ville than live out there. It's terrible.

Granted, we were in a pretty ghetto part of Downtown LA, but still. Seeing all of those homeless people on the streets, walking around and begging for money, really made me appreciate everything I have. And the rudeness of the people there made me re-think my definition of rude. I mean, sure, we have some first class idiots and assholes over here -- that's guaranteed, and I can think of a few off the top of my head. But the people I encountered in the city had no regard for any other human being but themselves.

I guess it really is a dog eat dog world. People are nasty, and selfish, and racist, and self-centered. People do what they need to get by in this world.

As the streets of downtown filled up in the late afternoon, the prom dress stores filled up and pretty soon teenage girls were rifling through dresses as though it were that huge sale on bridal gowns where all the soon-to-be-brides would run into the store and practically kill each other to find that perfect dress. Sure, maybe it wasn't that extreme, but it was so crowded and frantic that it certainly felt that way.

Thankfully Sprina found a dress [YAY! ^_^. And can I just say, it looks great on her], but it came with a price. Because this world is so dog-eat-dog, when Daphne's pouch [containing her camera and her money] fell out of her pocket, nobody bothered to return it to her, even though she came looking for it thirty seconds after it dropped. No, whoever found it looked inside, found the money and expensive camera, and took it. Maybe it's just me and my idealistic mind, but I have a feeling that if this happened over in suburbia, in maybe the Brea or Puente Hills Malls or something, the pouch would have been returned.

I get that people need some kind of means to survive. But should it come at the expense of someone else? I am unhappy about Daphne's loss [it certainly put a damper on the rest of our shopping day], but generally speaking -- is it worth it to recieve something that will help you get by, if it means you had to take it from someone else, and cause them misfortune? Could you live with yourself if you decided to take that course of action?

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm too noble and courteous for my own good. God knows I'm noble and respectful enough for nearly everyone who lacks those qualities in my senior class. And it's okay to be a little selfish sometimes. I guess it just depends on the situation. Like taking a job promotion, even if it means that someone else has to be stuck with their same job for a few more years. Or maybe taking that last seat on the plane, or that much coveted choir solo. It's not that we're aiming to hurt those less fortunate. It's just a part of life.

But there is a difference in those situations. Stealing is completely different than carefully choosing a plan of action.

I'm confusing myself. Let's move on to something else.

**

Well, this week should be interesting. Busy, most definitely. But I'm excited for it. I love being busy, even though it does mean that I'll be tired for the entire week. I'm up for it -- excitement is what I live for. I love looking at my calendar and seeing every box filled with some activity or appointment. It makes me feel accomplished; like I'm actually doing something with and for my life.

My final choir concert ever will take place this Friday and Saturday. I'm excited, but at the same time, sad and terrified. At the moment, our numbers aren't looking as amazing as they should be looking -- and I really wish we had more time to prepare. Diamond Bar's Pop's concert isn't even until the 23rd and 24th of May -- three whole weeks more of preparation. I know that we'll be able to pull everything together in time -- we always do. But it still is stressful and frustrating when things aren't looking stunning during rehearsal. By this time, we should be mastering our choreography and making it our own. Right now, we're still struggling to remember our moves. And we don't even have a curtain call.

There are a lot of logistics that still need to be worked out. And frankly, Mrs. Lopez will most likely not be in a good mood at all this week. Concert weeks always stress the hell out of her.

I guess all we can do is hope for the best. It's my last concert -- and it's going to be great.

Always and forever,
--Monica McFLY♥